Here is a very abridged version of the main events, feelings, firsts and some tips for all your future pregnant couples. I suggest you read this at a time you are relaxed and have some time; I suggest a cup of tea or hot cocoa even. Maybe treat yourself to a cookie because I have a lot to share:
-driving-
Me: “Yura, maybe we should buy a pregnancy test.”
Yuriy: “Nah, lets wait, they’re expensive.”
-A few days later…-
Me: Scrutinizing the instructions, reading them over and over, making sure I can handle the difficult science of peeing on a stick.
-A second after I finish peeing on the stick-
Yuriy: “Baby, you’re pregnant!”
Me: “No, no, it hasn’t been 3 minutes yet, we have to wait for it to be 3 minutes, the instruction say to wait 3 minutes” I keep saying as I’m staring down at the big blue plus signs.
Now see there are two windows on this particular test, one shows that it has worked and the other shows whether you are pregnant or not. I scrutinize the instructions, looking back and forth, instructions, peed stick, instruction, peed stick. Yep I was so pregnant that the 3 minutes were not necessary, it was a plus before I even finished the arduous process of peeing on the stick.
I was shaking, I was in shock, my mind raced, I was insanely happy. I need to sit down.
See Yuriy and I have wanted to have children together since we first started dating, but as reasonable and practical adults we took the measures to halt this moment to a more suitable time. Well the best time is the present because nothing in the world could have made us happier. I was traveling with my brother in Florida and wasn’t really tracking my cycle, so by the time I got to California to Yuriy, I had the feeling I was ovulating but didn’t know 100% as I usually do.
This is a California Baby.
After we took the pregnancy test, something horrific hit us. I’ve been partying heartedly for the past few weeks. ^%$^%*^(*&((&(%%^ oh my god.
Me: “Yuriy, you have to call my doctor, I can’t, I can’t” At this point, I don’t think I’ve ever been so terrified in my life.
Yuriy calls the doctor as I go into the living room staring out the window thinking, this can’t be, it can’t be, things have to be alright.
WARNING: DO NOT GO ON THE INTERNET AND LOOK FOR ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION DURING EARLY PREGNANCY WHEN YOU JUST FIND OUT YOU’RE PREGNANT. STEP AWAY FROM THAT LAPTOP, FAR AWAY, AND CALL YOUR DOCTOR.
The doctor tells us it’s perfectly OK, that the fetuses and mothers blood do not mix until 5 weeks. Well duh! Otherwise we would all be walking around with some deformity.
He congratulates us and tells us to come in for an appointment.
I have never felt such relief in my existence.
So now what? Who do we tell, what do we do? We’re gonna have a BABY!
My brother had just left our place that morning, and was with me as I am reading the instructions to the pregnancy test. He sits with me on the couch stroking me, calming me down. In reality I’m totally fine, I’m not really nervous. I don’t think he quite understood this concept however.
So we decide to call him first. Yuriy does the honor.
Yuriy: “hey, Gary. Congratulations.
Gary:
Yuriy: “You’re gonna be an uncle man”
Gary: “what, wait…..what”
-More shock ensues-
I take the phone, and Gary is speechless. I tell him we are really happy with the news, its good news. He says he is happy if I am happy and that things just keep getting weirder.
A few weeks earlier, my brother and I were talking about who would have kids first, we concluded it was most likely me. We spoke about how we want to be a really close family, give our kids the closeness we didn’t have enough of with our family. I tell him, we gotta have kids close together! So Igariosh, get cracking, my baby needs cousins.
Next we go to Queens. First stop: grandparents.
My grandpa knows something is up when we come in. I was nervous and antsy. We tell them we have something to tell them. With big smiles I say “we’re gonna have a baaabbby!”
There are tears and hugs and excitement, and “ I knew its”. It was great.
Next: Mama and Francois.
We decide to order sushi (which I miss sooooo much at this point, I’m salivating just thinking about it, but no raw fish allowed).
So I say, “I think we’ll need to order for 5”.
Mom:
Francois: Congratulations. Baby, she’s pregnant.
Mom: “What? Wait what?” Extreme shock, then extreme hugs and omg’s.
She says something along the lines of that she didn’t realize she would be so happy because it’s a bit earlier than she expected, but she was ridiculously happy. Then the reality hits “Oh my god, I’m gonna be a grandma”
Since then Francois has come to the habit of calling my mom grandma to get her used to it.
The next days are very exciting ,with the first visit to the OB and continuing telling our close family. We got the print out of the first sonogram, there it was , my uterus with a dark spot where the baby would form. We got these cute little albums and a matching gift bag, stuck the sonogram in there and headed that evening to Yuriy’s parents. We hand the bag, the open the album and just stare for a bit. Lots of wows and hugs and a “you’re crazy” from Yuriy’s sister. They were very happy and we went to dinner to celebrate.
It hasn’t been easy keeping it a secret, so I’m really looking forward to coming back home and telling everyone.
As the days went on many symptoms amplified. I have never felt so exhausted and sleepy, ever! I would fall asleep everywhere. That first month could be pretty much summed up by me falling asleep everywhere. Girls, enjoy this, you can slumber without feeling guilty and people won’t bother you. It also took me about a month to get back on NY time from Cali. I usually adjust really easily but my body refused.
Other things to look forward to in those first months:
1. You will be in constant shock at how it is POSSIBLE for your breasts to hurt so much. If you girls remember the soreness you went through when your boobs were first growing, or if you have been on the pill, well multiply that by a few hundred.
Boys: DO NOT touch the breasts, or you will be sorry and possibly deaf.
Girls: Sleep in a bra and get up in the morning slowly as to prevent from tipping over from the weight and pain of your new breasts.
The good news is that after the second month or so I haven’t had too much pain, it goes away. Thank goodness!
2. Boys: DO NOT get in the way of a pregnant woman and the bathroom.
Girls: Get ready for more running, you will be needing to pee ALL THE TIME.
Now I was confused by this, obviously I don’t have a heavy baby pressing on my bladder, what’s goin on? Well, as your uterus shifts and grows, it presses on the bladder and you will be getting up 5 times a night and visiting the toilet more than ever before. Resistance is futile my friends.
This also gets a bit better as time goes on. In Florence because it’s so hot I think I’ve been sweating everything out which lessens my trips to the bathroom.
I feel really blessed that I have not been barfing everywhere. Over 70% of pregnant women suffer from morning sickness. Reading pregnancy books and other women’s stories, I am so grateful at how wonderful my pregnancy has been so far. While I have my share of nausea, I’ve only thrown up once (Mr. Italian bus driver, I’m deeply sorry for throwing up an inch away from you, but you just did not stop the bus on time).
Some tips here:
1. Eat lots of carbs for breakfast, skip the fruit and get something solid in your tummy. Unless you want to see that fruit on the bus again.
2. Avoid bumpy rides.
3. Don’t take long hot showers, you will get nauseous and light headed.
4. Most importantly, listen to your body. It knows when you need to get out of a place and get some more air. The baby doesn’t like being in a stuffy or smelly place, closed spaces are no good and it will make you need to get off that bus or out of that Italian Church. Listen.
Now one friend in particular was very curious about the level of horniness with all these hormones and such. Well it hasn’t changed much but being away from Yuriy definitely has been difficult. It’s been almost 6 weeks in Florence now and for 2 weeks he came to visit. What I do have a hard time is not having any kind of human contact, I need hugs. Once you’re away from the comforting touches and hugs, you really realize how much you need it on a daily basis.
And girls, don’t be scared to have sex when pregnant, it’s all good, no harm (unless you have a high risk pregnancy).
Before I left to Italy we saw the baby’s heartbeat, it was amazing, this little flutter.
Other stuffs:
1. A feeling like your stomach is eating you up, they say its heartburn which feels different from non-pregnancy heartburn.
2. When you get hungry, you need feel like you need to eat THAT second.
3. I haven’t had extreme cravings but I can hear someone mention a food and man, I can’t get it out of my head, partly because I know I can’t get it on demand here in Italy.
4. Lastly, let’s discuss some body image. In the beginning before Florence, I felt quite fat. It’s like my body was preparing and gave my tummy an extra layer of cushion to protect them baby. Here in Florence however, I do an extreme amount of walking and climbing hills and have become thinner than pre pregnancy. I feel as long as you continue eating healthy, if you slim down in the beginning, it’s perfectly fine. I am not showing much yet and am actually looking forward to the belly. Why would you want to get bigger and have back pain and need maternity clothes you ask? Well, I will tell you. I get to have that seat reserved on the bus and train for special people like my fat self, without feeling like I am not deserving of it cause people won’t see that I’m pregnant. Man, I want that seat.
Some last tips for you men out there:
-when your pregnant partner wants a sandwich, you will go and get her a sandwich. Do not bitch that its not healthy. I mean it, get her that sandwich.
-give your partner that special attention that she needs at this time. More than ever we pregnant women have a need to feel taken care of, supported, loved and protected. Give this to us even if it takes a few extra minutes out of your busy work days. You will be appreciated instead of being resented.
So my friends, now you know of my first three months and I cannot wait to see you all and introduce you to my pregnant self.
